Tweets from N. Korea – Brilliant

Image result for dprk

(DPRK Officials Ready to Take Names and Numbers)

 

16h16 hours ago

U.S. president Obama urges Americans to be cheerful and optimistic now that his disastrous presidency comes to its ignominious end.

22h22 hours ago

U.S. economy crashes as generations of perpetual children forsake work, marriage, and family for pursuit of imaginary telephone goblins.

22h22 hours ago

Ministry of Justice orders assets of bloated Turkish man-frog Recep Tayyip Erdogan frozen for antidemocratic acts and childish belligerence.

Donald Trump-Hillary Clinton contest motivates US voters to choose their doom by fiery annihilation or slow decay, as with a cancerous tumor

Jul 27

Heroic computer vandals of Wicker Leeks awarded Red Banner of Merit, Second Class, for various services to united Korean peoples.

Jul 5

US president Obama implores America to entrust nuclear launch codes to woman described as negligent and slipshod with mere electronic mails.

Jul 5

Farmers in South Pyongan Province lauded for producing world’s most militant potatoes as Potato Revolution continues.

Jul 5

US president Barack Obama to campaign for Hillary Clinton as candidate best able to continue legacy of corruption, incompetence, and strife.

Jul 5

Greased and oily English reporter Piers Morgan derided as fawning anus-sniffer to cretins.

Jul 1

Former United States Chief Warlord Bill Clinton involved in new corruption of some sort, to surprise of no one except U.S. newspapers.

Jun 29

US celebrity astrologer Neil Degrasse Tyson is called first-class idiot of highest distinction, for false prophecies and gassy bloviations.

Jun 25

Slothful laziness and habit of gorging mouths with rich foods to blame for western obesity epidemic, according to latest scientific findings

Jun 25

English labour party leader Jeremy Corbyn denounced as human sore, oozing with pus, and rightist lackwit, for deviations from true socialism

Jun 24

English war criminal David Cameron escapes death, is sentenced to work for 100 years as “cow flop disposal technician” on collective farm.

Jun 24

Bankers and fund managers of London ordered to report to collective farms by English revolution government, for reform through manual labour

Jun 24

Reward for capture and arrest of English traitor dog David Cameron is set at ten million Won.

Jun 23

Half of United States Congress vows to sit on floor, doing nothing. Entire world wishes other half would join them.

Jun 22

US celebrates “National Onion Ring Day,” yet another empty holiday meant to distract slaves from daily horror of their meaningless lives.

Jun 22

US boasts of tolerance for homo-sexuals exposed as empty prattle, as US ally Saudi Arabia routinely executes such people without reproach.

Jun 22

Donald Trump speech on the thousand infamies, treasons, and villainies of alcoholic hag Hillary Clinton is not expected to break new ground.

Jun 22

US cities are called “Food Deserts” in which only unnatural foods are sold. DPRK markets sell only natural, additive and pesticide free food

Jun 21

English prime minister David Cameron said to be man of equal parts ridiculousness and pomposity, eclipsed only by ignorance and dishonor.

Jun 21

U.S. city of Los Angeles evacuated, due to fires caused by negligent forestry practices of corrupt and incompetent gangster Barack Obama.

Jun 21

As European exit vote approaches, doomed prime minister David Cameron makes plans to flee for Belgium on raft of discarded cheese boxes.

Jun 21

United States celebrates “National Selfie Day,” confirming perception of America as land of shallow narcissists and psychopathic braggarts.

Jun 21

Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un offers millionaire Donald Trump four tons of buckwheat and use of a private bicycle to assist in campaign expense

Jun 19

Marshal Kim Jong-Un sends gift of scissors and ceramic bowl to Canadian president Justin Trudeau, to assist with long-needed haircut.

Jun 18

Backlash predicted against United States Muslims after last terror attack now expected to materialize after next terror attack, experts say.

Jun 17

Population of suspected terrorists in United States now exceeds population of Indonesia and Chad.

Jun 12

New mass shooting has United States press eager to continue shooter’s work by encouraging living Americans to blame one another.

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